Walk. Alone.

Walk. Just keep walking. Alone. Yes all alone.

I took a lonely walk to Block 602, and saw lights lit up where the kitchen used to be. From the first floor it barely looked like anything I used to remember. But still, it retained it's white coloured ceiling. Pure white. But no one was there now. Or at least it felt that way.

So I sat by the fitness corner where I used to spend majority of my sec 3 days exercising. Getting into shape. Working out to give me the body that I have (not that it is sexy) now. But still, I stepped into a vicinity of time long gone. A past that I know, was part of me. Revisiting those formative years.

It strikes me how differently the place felt, now that I was no longer living there. I sat down alone, listening to music yet somehow it didn't feel the same. Where I used to live, now felt like an inconvenience. As much as I would have liked to lay there forever, I knew damn well one thing. I don't live 2 minutes away from my house anymore. Saddening.

Come to think of it, maybe it's for the best. I mean, I would never have had found in myself the strong spirit of self-belief if this tragedy never happened in the first place. The move was necessary and inescapable. It could not be helped. The only thing that still strikes me is the fact that I'm going further away from the people I love to be around with. My primary school friends, and especially Shawn.



Yup Shawn. I can declare, that yes he is my best friend. Really the one and only person I can trust my whole world to. I'll tell him things I won't tell anyone. Even the deepest tragedies of my life. And I love him so much because I waited 2 years before realising, he's really the best person I've met in my life.

The catch is, well he's never around me. In a sense, we've only been to the same primary school. Not secondary school, and not even tertiary institute. I'm in a JC, he's in ITE. He's an idiot but I love him. If I could, sometimes I wish I could see how life would be like if he went to the same secondary school and JC as me. I think he would have had been the only one to calm me down at that darkest moment. To stick by me like glue in JC because there really isn't anyone who can do that for me now.

Not that I don't think that anyone can, but I haven't seen anyone do it like him, or even any better. Still, I would love to have that one person who can stick by me wherever I go. Without question, without doubt, and without this troublesome thought that "maybe I'm annoying him." Alas, that person has not been found.

Found myself writing this.