Action And Resolve

Red patches like shoulderguards walk the morning of this tuesday. Bought 2 newspapers.

Assembly. Looked like an idiot donning 2 newspapers, one malay and one English one.

REv-up. PUSHHHBALLLLLLLLLLL. But this year we won't be doing pushball cause they (the teachers) are afraid that we will burst the pushball. XD
Instead, they gave us stations. Each teacher would be one station.
We went to a Sprinting, Push ups, Burpies(?), Jumping Jacks stations.
At the end of it we had a cheering competition with the girls. Ah, the fun!

MT. Was supposed to go up to class and give an opinion. But I was a fucking idiot not to. I kept telling myself I didn't understand. Even so, I had not finished the Corrections and Composition that I was supposed to do. Making me feel even worse.
By the end of the lesson, I was feeling fucking depressed. Like a being shot by a self-inflicted bullet to the head. Still alive but not doing anything to save myself afterwards.

English. Couldn't fucking care. Too fucking depressed. WE went through exposition. Despite being depressed, I listen more attentively when I'm depressed. At the cost of my happiness, of course.

Recess. Food. Some loser dropped a bunch of safety pins.

Literature. Still fucking depressed. Fell asleep in class without realising.

SS. Couldn't care less about class. Still too fucking depressed. Except since Mrs Baljit is teaching, I was on a hypnotism depression high. I was sleepy and depressed. I'm surprised that Mrs Baljit isn't as strict as I had envisaged her to be.

POA. Felt a little better. Did the work willingly. And was happy to be in POA class. For once. Mrs Kang has quite a way to "heat" up the class. She'd put the air con on the lowest temperature setting and then turn on the fans in full blast. But since I was wearing double layer clothing it wasn't so bad.

Physics. Mr Chia makes Physics revision look ridiculously easy. Oh test!

MT. Didn't finish the corrections nor composition. So I had my regrets. I had to stayback. I was the last to go. I had to talk with Mr Faisal. Again. And tear myself apart once more. And the good talk he gave me. He's right. Down to the last word. I wish I had dealt with this problem better. I told myself I wanted to be a better man. But it all seemed like empty words. Words that will never come to fruition. Sigh. I'm determined for change. But I need action and resolve.

Got home and found myself writing this.